Dealing with Homesickness

Solo travellers can be prone to homesickness. Here is my story.

Over the decades, yes, I’m a bit older than most, I have traveled alone for varying lengths of time, and the homesickness issue has reared its ugly head on more than one occasion.

I was talking to a friend a while ago, who has just returned home from a seven-day holiday to mainland Europe. She had traveled alone and said she was glad to be home as she missed her friends, home, and family. The lady had been homesick after only a few days and couldn’t wait for her flight back to the UK.

Homesickness is something that I have suffered from, but fortunately, not after just a week or two. Many of my trips, be they solo or with others, have lasted no more than three weeks with a definite end date. In that short set period, homesickness was never an issue. Yes, I was always pleased and happy to open the front door on my return, to pick up familiar routines. But homesickness, no.

My longer trips have been different.

Long Solo Trips

In my mid-50s, my wife and I divorced after 28 years of marriage and went our separate ways. At the same time, I had finished working at a local company, having become frustrated with some of the things that were happening there. I walked out on it one morning after a couple of incidents I won’t recall here.

These major changes to my life provided the opportunity to take a long open-ended trip. In my student days, I didn’t have the opportunity to take a gap year, so decided that aged 55, it was time to do just that.

Rather than taking a series of short trips, I put what furniture and belongings I had into storage and booked a round-the-world plane ticket. Well, why wouldn’t you? The ticket had set places to visit, with the opportunity to make some amendments to the route and the final return date was almost a year in the future.

Traveling solo with a one-year semi-plan is an ambitious undertaking for anyone. For my trip, I decided to backpack around the world. After all, gap year students do it, so why not a single guy in his mid-fifties?

The Homesickness Bug

Homesickness isn’t an illness although it can certainly feel like that sometimes.

When you have been away from family and friends for a while, you begin to think of them more and more. Everyone is different on how long this takes for homesickness to set in and for many, it never becomes a real problem.

For me, it was about eight weeks into my one-year trip.

I had spent several weeks traveling across the United States, using trains, Greyhound buses, and the occasional plane. A side trip from Los Angeles, via Salt Lake City to Portland to meet some good friends was a welcome distraction from being on my own.

The next port of call after returning to Los Angeles was Rarotonga in the Cook Islands. I decided to stay a while, rented a small cottage by the lagoon, and settled into some serious rest and recuperation.

And this is when the homesickness bug came to bite.

I found I was missing people. I missed my family and missed my friends. There was nobody there.

Talk to them!

There is nothing wrong and everything right about picking up the phone and calling home.

Communication has become easier since my visit to the Pacific 15 years ago, with the advent of WhatsApp being the best thing to be invented for the solo traveler. Find a local Wi-Fi and call.

You may shed a tear or two during and after the call, but it will be worth it to relieve the tension of homesickness.

Don’t be afraid to reach out for home. Folks will be pleased to hear from you and listen to your adventures, while they continue with their daily repetitive drudge of work and life. They will be jealous of you, out there in the big wide world. That will cheer you up!

What to do

There was a need to meet some people, so I moved from the rented cottage to a local hostel on the island.

At the hostel, there were people to talk with. Fellow solo travelers along with couples and groups of two to three people. They were all a lot younger than me, but happy to talk and share time.

We went on some tours of the island, seeing the sights, checking out the various bars, and on Friday, the nightlife. Loud music and dancing are no longer my ‘thing’, but I tolerated them for a while before slipping away quietly and leaving my new younger friends to complete the late shift until closing time.

Two of us hired scooters and spent a couple of days touring the island. We swam under a waterfall and lay on our backs in the sand at midnight, taking in the wonders of the Milky Way above our heads. We talked and we laughed.

After a couple of weeks, I felt better about things and decided to continue my journey, with the next stop, Auckland, New Zealand.

It is OK to go Home

Travel burnout can be a real issue for some. If it all becomes too much, then go home.

The world will wait. All those places cities or adventures on your plan and in your head will be there waiting for your next trip.

There is no shame in going home and it can sometimes be the best decision.

There is no need to be afraid of what family and friends will think of you if you turn up on the doorstep earlier than expected. They will not think any the worse of you for coming home. It is your decision what to do and only you can know what you need.

And what did I finally do?

I continued my journey with a two-week driving tour of New Zealand’s north island. If you haven’t done this yet, then just go!

My next stop was Hong Kong and here I really suffered from homesickness. After island life in the Cooks and New Zealand, I couldn’t stand the noise and crowds of the city.

On my second afternoon, I called the airline and changed my next plane journey from India to London. Hong Kong has upset me so much, that I left the bustle of the hostel and spent my final night in Asia, camped out on the floor of Hong Kong International Airport.

Did I feel I had let myself down by deciding to go home? At the time, yes. However, after arriving back in the UK, I was very happy with my decision.

The final question, is what happened next? Have I traveled solo again? Absolutely I have!

And did homesickness hit me on those future journeys? Yes, it, did, but I was better prepared.

Safe travels!